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Is sexual incompatibility a deal breaker for you?

With a high sex drive, sex is important to me. Mike and I were compatible until we had sex.

"I'm a giver," Mike said. "I only care about a woman's pleasure." Big talk.

"I need extra lubrication," I said, getting out a tube of AstroGlide. Mike disagreed. "You don't need lubrication" and entered me roughly.

It was like having sex with a battering ram. Although I explained what I like twice, he did not listen.

"I'm so fit, I can go for two more hours," he bragged. I groaned.

"Easy! Gentle! Slow down. Not so hard!" I said. "I can't relax. It hurts." Then, "I need a break." That ended it.

At 63, he couldn't even do cunnilingus. Instead of licking, he sucked on my clit hard like he was siphoning gas. Ouch. I don't want to see Mike again.

I have dealt with this before. Jackhammering. It's what these men like. Hurts like hell.

No wonder his ex-wife became a lesbian. She wanted a gentle woman. She married a woman.

By LiterateHiker8
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82 comments

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2

Yeah that had nothing to do with compatibility. That guy was a narcissist, *sshole, rapist.

2

While I don't expect everything to jive out the gate, comfort and compatibility need to be there soon.

Otherwise - "bye-bye"

evergreen Level 8 July 13, 2019
2

One thing i learned from a very early age, listen to your lover, if she says she needs lube, then get the damn lube, but i also learned if you take care of a ladies needs, if she is a sexual being then you should be in for the ride of your life. I found that most women prefer a tongue to a penis, that just my experience. Guy sounds like an egotistical idiot, no consideration at all, but let me show you what a stud i am...lol

TonyCarl1 Level 6 July 13, 2019
2

Um entering roughly after you asked not to would piss me the fuck off!!!!!!! What is cunnillingus?

@Lauraleigh39

Cunnilingus: the act or practice of orally stimulating the female genitals.

(dictionary.com)

@LiterateHiker lol thanks I've been educated

2

After an episode like that, the guy is lucky there were no scissors in the side table. Is there an on line list for people like that its definitely sex offender material she said stop!

0

Georges Brassens sang it so well back in 1972 in "Quatre-vingt quinze fois sur cent" (95 times out of 100). My translation of the chorus:

Ninety-five times out of one hundred
The woman gets bored when she fucks
Whether she confesses it or not
It's not everyday she gets her but unwrikled
The poor dudes believing
The contrary are cuckolds
So when booty time comes
She's often feeling sad, poor thing
If her heart is not beating
Her body won't bulge either

4

What you just described sounds a hell of a lot like rape.

You have a right to set limits and have them respected. If they aren't? Game off.

You have a right to your "No" at any point. And I mean ANY POINT.

The National Sexual Assault Hotline: [rainn.org]

RavenCT Level 9 July 13, 2019
3

The hell? That's not incompatibility, that's abuse.

You need to fire your headline writer.

Anyways, I'm assuming you won't be seeing him again. Maybe you should review his book on amazon...

1of5 Level 7 July 13, 2019

@1of5

Headline writer? Me.

I refuse to see Mike again.

@LiterateHiker yeah, I know it's you. smile001.gif

You didn't describe incompatability, you described abuse/assault. Mike disagreed. "You don't need lubrication" and entered me roughly. Thats far beyond incompatibility. Incompatibility would be along the lines of he needs you in fishnet stockings and heels to cum, and you can't cum while wearing them.

Sorry he turned out to be such a shit.

2

I don't think people become lesbian after adulthood. I do think some people are ashamed of their sexuality and get into horrible relationships as a way to divert attention from it.

That sex thing you describe is horrific. You have the right to stab him, next time you see him. I'd call that assault at the very least. It clearly was physically harming and your consent didn't /needent enter the picture. My 2 cents

@MarkiusMahamius

I don't ever want to see Mike again.

@LiterateHiker the concept of karma is bullshit but its still fucking awesome when it seems true. I hope theres something coming for him.

1

What a charmer. Sounds like he should stick to wanking.

One of the useful things about being a guy is of it really isn't working, then it really doesn't work. I've had one lass who wanted me to be a lot more dominant than I was really comfortable with - it wasn't that I'm prudish, I just find that sort of gameplay boring. So that only lasted one night.

I've also found a lass who really didn't like being orally pleasured, which was... disappointing. She had quite a fleshy labia minora, and was a bit embarrassed about it so didn't like me going down on her, no matter how many times I explained it was absolutely not a problem.
But, she was smart, fiesty and hotter than the surface of the sun, so we worked something out.

1

Is this the latest guy from Fitness singles that you were seeing? Or some time ago?

ToolGuy Level 8 July 12, 2019

@ToolGuy

Mike is on Fitness Singles, the author of "Trekking Washington."

This awful sex with Mike was on 7/10/19.

@LiterateHiker So sorry. You were hopeful I know.

3

It's a huge deal breaker in my case ^^

Agnieszka Level 7 July 12, 2019
2

I always tell new girlfriends, for me this is playing the piano while deaf, I need a ton of feedback in the beginning to know what you like. Some girls need it rough, some girls need to gentle. transitioning from 1 to another after years of doing the same thing is tricky. but yes, he should have listened a ton better than he did.

3

Definitely a deal breaker long term disaster looming I can't do what she describes the moment there is pain I lose my erection automatically. Causing pain is wrong

bobwjr Level 8 July 12, 2019
4

Dealbreaker for me. Been there, done that. I’m not wasting my time or emotions on someone who cares more for their own pleasure than mine. Good sex is equitable. Also, if one partner wants lube, the other doesn’t get to veto it (and everyone engaging in anal play should be using lots of lube!).

UUNJ Level 8 July 12, 2019
3

As a man, I listen to the words and the sounds of a woman. Then there is looking at how she reacts to touch of all kinds, sometimes just brushing fingernails along a forearm or over the left hipbone will work wonders. Other times a lady may demand a 'jackhammering'. In the end, the point is truly learning each other. The sensitivity of a womans vaginal area changes, not just day to day, but during sex as well.
As I grew older, I learned not to be afraid to ask during lovemaking and after.
Lubrication is important in vaginal sex, even just with fingers. Oral sex done properly will help. It's a skill that can be learned and if you don't like doing it, say so. I've had girlfriends who no way were even going kiss my penis, never mind take it in their mouth! So, I assume there are some men who won't lick a woman's pussy.
Importantly, communication requires listening, not just talking.

Sofabeast Level 7 July 12, 2019
1

Inasmuch as you do not mention any emotional investment, It would seem that you would be happier with a battery operated boyfriend.

dahermit Level 7 July 12, 2019
8

If the guy hasn’t figured it out by the age of 63, he ain’t gonna because he clearly has no interest in even trying.

webbew1 Level 7 July 12, 2019
5

I know what he needs , A plain model c class sex bot , nothing pricy . A mid range, with hidro like Jack's for better bounce on the ass, cost Xtra though.

1

How about sport guys who have injuries that can cause some penis problems? Yes, I am one who has had that happen. Yet, I also like the things that my tongue and fingers can do.

gsiamne Level 7 July 12, 2019
5

Yes, but in incompatible is different then inept.

1

I think he needs to see this post, or maybe explain to him what you said here. Explain your point of view. Not in the moment when tensions might distort a reaction. But now maybe, afterwards. Sex is an activity that people can learn. Sorry he didn't listen, but if everything else is good, it's worth working this out with him. Maybe in his world, he was rocking your world, all the way up until it stopped... He won't know your needs without you telling him, and I understand that you did in that moment, but guys sometimes can't think beyond "let's get this done NOW." And with our pants down, egos can get hurt easily. Again, if everything else is good, teach him to be the lover you need. If he can't listen... Don't know what to tell ya.

@ownworstenemy

Yesterday I copied this pos and changed "Mike" and "he" to "you."

Then emailed it to Mike.

@LiterateHiker @WEBBEW1 Already said what I was going to say: "If the guy hasn’t figured it out by the age of 63, he ain’t gonna because he clearly has no interest in even trying." My 2nd statement in this thread was based on an experience with a woman that apparently could not recognize the issue or didn't verbalize her concern. I had enough time to reflect. So, with my next lover, it was me that suggested the extra lube. She was already producing a fair amount, but when she put on the extra, she went to town. Repeatedly.

@LiterateHiker best of luck to you. Hope he listens.

@LiterateHiker I am Hector, The Gipsy of the New Spain and... "I don't want to be like Mike"

3

Incredible! Why do thugs like that always have girlfriends, while us gentle, communicative, loving guys just get to date our hands?

BitFlipper Level 7 July 12, 2019

Nice guys come in last , don't you know.

1

I would say yes, Which I sometimes don't feel that great about it.

thexter Level 4 July 11, 2019
1

With me, it's not because of the woman that lubrication will be needed.

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