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Would you as an agnostic or atheist marry a Christian?

I've met a very beautiful woman on line. She and I share many common likes and dislikes, but she is Christian.

Would you personally pursue such a relationship? Why or why not?

By AstralSmoke8
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107 comments

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1

I wouldn't. I need that non-believer connection with someone.

Joanne Level 7 Aug 18, 2019
1

Fling with a christian girl? Sure.

Long-term relationship with her? Dodgy - that would almost guarantee an on-going undercurrent of disagreement.

ToakReon Level 7 Aug 17, 2019
1

Love the ‘but’. ‘But’ always was negates the previous clause that is used, to introduce a justification or even a disengagement for what you are about to say..

The statement you are really making with a preceding disclaimer is ‘She is a Christian’

Now the irrelevant nonsense is out of the way, the real question is should you pursue a relationship with a Christian.

If you have to ask that question you are possibly not ready to pursue any relationship. The whole scenario is narcissistic with no regard for the other person.

It has the same depth as asking should you have eggs or cereal for breakfast.

I love good, strong, negative remarks. Perhaps I wrote that intentionally to direct your response. Logical thinking will only get you so far in my head. No further. I wrote this question because I thought it would be a good post and receive lots of replies. My logic has proven correct so far.

@AstralSmoke Nice to have something a little different sometimes though isn’t it?

1

I had one of the most fascinating relationships with a born-again, dope smoking Christian. I remember when she asked me: "Will you stay with me for the rest of your life?" I replied: "No worries, I am convinced you will make sure it won't be a very long relationship!"
She was amazing to the point that even women chatted her up in broad daylight. When she moved it looked as is she was levitating. I guess she hovered on the clouds of dope and Jesus magma.

Smoking pot helps!

1

I just divorced one. Frankly I would rather be single than even date one incapable of living and functioning in reality. I know that sounds harsh, but I don't trust one who makes choices based on pretend.

I agree. It's difficult.

1

No. Why not? Because I would not respect her/his unexamined/irrational beliefs, and that would eventually become an obstacle too great to overcome.

3

Well actually I have. And the marriage did end in divorce. But it had nothing to do with a difference on the idea of religion.

2

I did, twice. 20 years & 18 years.

I want to do something like that. How do I keep them from learning about the other’s existence?

@DZhukovin
It was a case of serial monogamy. However, very near the end of the second marriage I started going out with someone else with the full knowledge of my now ex. It's been 5 years and I continue to maintain multiple simultaneous relationships and always with full awareness of my partners. Maybe someday I will again find the one that gets my full attention.
Life is too short not to explore everything.

1

No I wouldn't. Not for the fact that I would judge them or discriminate. But for the fact that me and the person I'm marrying have such different views of life and would be a total mismatch. Also, religious people love to think they maybe someday they'll convert. I wouldn't wanna give them false hope. ALSO, I would get tired of hearing about lol. I had a hard enough time just being friends with one of my Evangelical Christian classmates. Let alone marrying him and spending the rest of my life with him.

1

No thank you!! One: I have no desire to marry again (once was enough, but there are other options!), and Two: the differences in beliefs would be incredibly difficult!

Rustee Level 7 Aug 14, 2019
2

I am an atheist and attend two churches regularly. One is Catholic and the other is Mennonite-Amish. If I ever were to reveal that I was atheist, I would agree to follow all of the rules of the church of my wife, and would agree to raise my kids under that faith. Christian wives are too devoted to give up on, and the social benefits of fellowship with the church are valuable. The Mennonites and Amish pool their money together to help each other have farms, houses, vans for lots of kids, businesses. I mean, you have to give testimony and be baptized and such, but I don’t mind talking about the Bible and speaking “Christianese”. I was raised Catholic, so everyone there assumes I’m catholic as long as I do what everyone else does. I am trying to keep my “license” at both churches, in the hope that I might find a wife in either. There is nothing that exists that will make people drive 30 miles, rain or shine, and meet en masse, other than a church. There is nothing that exists for the population to be high enough that there is enough representation among each age group in order to have a sizeable group of each age group, other than a church. If you can find me an atheist church, great. All the people in the atheist groups near me are old and have suffered exclusions, setbacks, and delays for being atheists, or so it appears. There are no young women for me to marry in these groups, and I wonder, is it harder for females to be atheists or is it possible that they are working way worse jobs than I have? Anyway, even if I were to marry an atheist, I would still find it hard to stop attending church altogether, since I don’t want to make enemies. I also know that because I’m autistic, I lack mind reading skill, sometimes called “theory of mind” by philosophers, so I can’t see god as a person, just as a natural process in the universe that speaks through fractal geometry and quantum physics. I also have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, so in theory I experience a higher sensitivity and empathy than the average population, so the argument about god punishing the good and rewarding the bad seems a lot stronger to me.

Smart man

From what I've read you are looking for a wife and that is a strong drive. Don't both churches say that you are going to Hell at the end of the day though? It appears you are subverting self just so you can find a wife. To thine self be true! Aren't you really just lying till you get called on it? They like you to follow the rules. but they are concerned for your soul, Which you do not believe exists or their God

1

What got me was the the World View the Christian culture bestows on its followers. There is a devil, demons and such. Don't get me started on the NOTW and the scourge of homosexuals on the world... I can tolerate someone being wrong. I can not live with it day in and day. Parenting, was very difficult and still is.

DaCrusher Level 4 Aug 14, 2019
1

I would not, unless the potential relationship mate simply identifies as Christian, but realizes that much of the Bible is myth. There are many people who adhere to Christian values (the good ones anyway) and have respect for those of other faith and no faith as well. That kind of Christian might be a keeper.

Julie808 Level 7 Aug 14, 2019
3

Nope. Because I want someone that knows there is no afterlife. No heaven. That this is our one life.

Doraz Level 7 Aug 14, 2019
1

If an individual can not fall in love with someone because they believe in a god and the Christian in question is not obsessed with religion then they are close minded and psychologically impaired . There are many more important aspects of a persons personality that should be considered .The individuals that had bad experiences obviously had other issues that led to the failure of the relationship and probably did not truly love their partner.

richiegtt Level 7 Aug 14, 2019

I understand what you're saying and I believe the line 'the Christian is not obsessed with religion' is the magic line.

3

I’m married to one now

snifflz Level 7 Aug 14, 2019
4

I married a christian and I love her to death. When the subject of religion comes up in discussion, we debate a little but it never gets heated. We get along great. We just disagree on that issue and respect each other.

Nuke Level 5 Aug 14, 2019

That's really cool. You two must be very special people.

1

No. Hell no.

2
4

I spent 23 years with a Christian. My wife just passed on, but she was a REAL Christian - a good, compassionate person. She never pushed her faith on me and i never tried to convince her that she was wrong! Live and let live was our life.

2

Relationships are tough anyway. I have yet to be with a woman, in any type of romantic relationship, that did not believe in a god. That being said, marriage is a big commitment and if children will be involved it could be a flashpoint for disagreements. I think that differences of thoughts and opinions are important. Never dated a atheist or agnostic woman before, but I certainly have had great connections and love with women who believed in their gods. Anything is possible if both parties are emotionally mature and have chemistry.

2

If everything seems to align, then why not. Judging by the chatter around here, that seems to be the biggest problem though. However, that is hardly a reason to draw a red line at the concept of potentially dating a non-atheist.

Try before you buy. If it don't work out . . . it happens.

Mb_Man Level 6 Aug 14, 2019
1

I married a (pseudo) Christian the first time around. Christianity wasn’t the problem, his alcoholism and fists were. His parents were some of the most horrid people I’ve ever met also, in fact. Huge fake ass Christians. Didn’t know the extent upon marrying him. 😐 I have friends and a few relatives that know my views, hasn’t been a problem. Marriage? I’d have to think long and hard. My present husband also grew up in a religious home, he’s agnostic as well.

Sounds like a real Christian to me...

@Lizard_of_Ahaz Normally I’d agree, he only became a Christian around his relatives.

@Cherie4444 In other words he told you what you wanted to hear to rope you in and tried to indoctrinate you into his cult.... Like I said sounds like a real Christian to me...

2

Keep her as a fuck buddy and make sure she is on birth control as well as using protection...

2

Check and make sure she is not militant Christian like the evangelical Christians

bobwjr Level 9 Aug 14, 2019
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