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LOL, it just CANNOT get any better imo.
Just finished with a short conversation, via the phone, with none other that 'Pope' Paul Skelley who informs me that his little 'congregation' has met and decided that, " Considering my blatant Atheism, my absolute denial of God and Jesus, my being a Doctor of Theology and a neighbour of one of HIS flock members, they shall be attending my home in the very near future to PERFORM an exorcism upon myself, my home and my property to drive out and expel ALL the Devils and Demons that plague me."
I tend to think that 'Pope Paul' is bereft of a sense of humour since he slammed down the phone at his end when I replied, " If you want to exercise the Devil and the Demons please don't do it in my home or on my property, be kind to them, take them for a walk around the town and show the sights, I'm sure they'll enjoy that much, much more."

Triphid 8 June 29

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1

Tell him that the only demon you know of is the one that makes him so obsessively, insistently dumb.

I sincerely doubt he'd listen, I think IF I tried to tell him the sun was shining, and it actually was, he'd argue that I was "listening to the Devils and Demons and that they were deceiving me."
Thankfully, the Local Police have stepped in with a Restraining Order from the Courts now and I've had wonderful peace and quiet for the last few days.

@Triphid That is good to hear. Imbeciles like him need to be taken at their idiot word.
I know this will sound naive,but I am amazed at how these fools think that their definition of what other people need is all there is to it.
I once knew a woman who's suffered from a delusional disorder. She went to a Pentecostal church, and was told that they KNEW just that she was experiencing was the result of...wait for it..."Witches walking up and down my back!"

@BirdMan1 Yep, I know about that kind of stuff, when I was about 14 years old I suffered from very intense headaches all in the front region of my head.
It was suspected by Doctors that I had a brain tumour and was hospitalised for over 3 wekks, underwent numerous procedures like EEGs, AEGs, Lumbar punctures, etc, etc.
One day, during visting hours, this very stern, official looking bloke came wandering around the hospital ward and stood there looking at each patient in turn.mumbled something, made the sign of the cross and moved on to the next patient.
When he got to me, he stopped, looked, his mouth opened very wide and then shouted, " This child is possessed by the spirits of long dead Sorcerors and Witches, they must be expelled by me or he will surely die."
Thankfully the nurses removed him from the Ward and the Hospital post-haste, but not without him screaming " You are killing this child, you must let me treat him, let medo God's work."
About half an hour later the Specialist came to my bed-side, apologised for that "out-rage' having ocurred" and then informed me that my headaches were being caused " not by being possessed but as a result of a car accident I had been in about 6 months earlier where my forehead had struck the rounded edge of the dashboard, fractured the thin bones cvering my Frontal Sinuses and that when the bone had healed it was now causing pressure to build up, intermittantly, in the blood vessels running through the Sinuses and with medication it can be corrected and the headaches will eventual go away."
Haven't had one of those headaches now for well over 40+ years thankfully, so either the 'spirits' ( LOL) got so drugged out of their 'ethereal minds and wandered off, or the medications worked perfectly.
My vote goes 100% for the meds btw.

1

Call the police when they show up

0

It's hard to believe that anyone actually believes that stuff these days.
Then again, you have flat earthers, qanon, reincarnationists, and trumpsters.
So I guess people can still believe anything these days.

Did you ask them if demons just control thoughts & beliefs, or can they cause disease?
And, if they cause disease, which diseases?
And how can they tell which diseases are caused by demons and which by germs and viruses?
Furthermore, how do they do it? It's a variation of the mind/body problem (a la Descarte).
And don't tell me the pineal gland.

No idea, I'm sorry to say but I did try to ask my Devils and Demons for their names, ranks, etc, etc, but just like God and Jesus I got no answers at all....LOL.
Maybe, just maybe that is, I might have better luck if I were to sacrifice a few Christians to them then they might actually answer me for a change....LOL.

2

You have to hand it to those imbeciles: they are 100% consistent in their stupidity.

4

Be careful what you admit to! You may be required to get a pet license for each and everyone of those demons!

Shit, never thought about that,.
Now I'll have to ask them for their names, ages, whether they've been de-sexed, are they 'house-trained.' Omnivores/Vegans/Vegetarians, what kinds of movies, etc, they enjoy watching, etc, etc.
I can imagine the look on the face of the Vet when I front up to have them micro-chipped as well....LOL.

With nametags: Legion 1, Legion 2, Legion 3, etc.

2

Haha excellent!

2

CALL THE POLICE you are being targeted by domestic terrorists

Nah, just a bunch of Religiotard Nut-cases imo.

1

Keep us posted

twill Level 7 July 1, 2020
0

Truthfully here in Northern Ireland I have never ever been an object of pity, as I dont' have a god ,and no one has asked me what my religion is I have been here more than 12 years is this a record?

0

Set up a pentacle in your backyard, go out and lay some food in it give the demon a name and call for him. Put out some water it must be as hot as hell. Then pretend to throw a ball for it to retrieve, pat it etc. Tie a rope to the hill hoist or a tree and spend some time teaching it how to skip, especially when the neighbours are out in their yard. Oh and video please. I would send a letter to Paul Skelley informing him that under no circumstances is he or any of his congregation allowed on your property and should be enter your property then you will be calling the police, quote the phone conversation as your reason why he should not enter. Send it certified with a return certificate. If he or anyone enters your property call the police. Have fun and let us know what happens.

Already have had the cops take out a Restraining Order on my behalf, it came into effect as of 10.20am yesterday, the Police Inspector even delivered 'Pope Pauls' copy to him personally and made him sign the acknowledgement of receipt as well.
Btw, I like your ideas for a bit of what we Aussies call 'shit-stirring.'
I've been tossing over in my mind about building a statue of a demon out of some the scrap metal, etc, I've got and placing it in my front garden, got plenty of very bright red paint, an old fashioned hay-fork, just need to work out how I can make a realistic looking forked tail as a finishing touch, I've even found some nice, solar rechargable red lights that will make for great demon eyes as well.

@Triphid Hey, we call it "shit-stirring" here in Kentucky too! lmao 😀

0

And when you see them step foot on your property, call the cops.

3

Who needs netflix when you have so much entertainment on tap. 😃

0

Get guns. Lots of guns. These people are dangerous, just like all those taking a knee.

Jacar Level 8 June 30, 2020

Don't need a gun m8, I've got my old home guarding friend I call 'Donk' a wooden Pick-handle.
'Donk' stands by the front door within very easy reach just waiting to give any unwanted caller, i.e. Intruder, a little donk on the noggin.

People exercising their Right to express their opinion(s) are "dangerous"????? Or is attempting to suppress their Rights dangerous?
I'll wait right here while you think a bit.......

0

I’d just ignore that idiot!

0

Bear Spray, just the stuff to spice up an encounter with a bunch of nutters like that.

Bugger the 'Bear Spray,' I'd love to have a few bottles of 'Skunk spray' handy for when any God-botherers come a-calling.
I'd more than tempted to 'bless' them with it and call it 'Holy Water.'

1

Great reply 😄. I probably would have been speechless and absolutely pissed off.

AvisG Level 3 June 30, 2020
2

Don’t you know you have to be saved by jeebus? 🤣

SalC Level 6 June 30, 2020

Yeah BUT which bank does this Jeebus save with....LOL.
Me, I prefer our local Credit Union, they don't charge Banking Fees for members who are on a Pension.

0

When they could, they burned us. Hide the chafing dish fuel...

Not really worried about that, the first time Evangelidiot tried to light up his wood-burning heater he ended up throwing about half a litre of petrol (Gas) onto it, he ended up looking like a strip of badly cured Beef Jerky for well over a month, it cost him over 2,000$ to repair the flue kit, the chimney and the charred timber floor of his Loungeroom.

0

Why did you pick up the phone, exactly? Stop engaging with this loon!

Actualy I answered the phone because I first thought it may have been my friend, Alan, ringing to ask if I could help him with rebuilding a fence, unfortunately I didn't look at the Caller ID BEFORE I answered.

1

It is kind of funny, till it's not. I would treat them seriously as you never know how far their delusions will take them. Start with a restraining order or whatever you have down under.

2

Here in California, I’d be able to try several legal responses involving concepts like trespass or harassment, possibly even get a restraining order from a judge. Or, I could set up lawn chairs, invite friends, possibly serve refreshments.

What a great idea make a party of it and tell them if they enter your property you will call the cops, film them and post so we can all laugh at it.

@Budgie Luckily, this scenario is very unlikely in my very diverse city. Besides, most of my neighbors are Buddhists/Taoists, who tend not to be pushy about their beliefs!

6

This...

0

Hello yes please continue updating on this story, I want to hear every detail. How long have you known these people? Do you have other posts about this somewhere?

5

What a violation in every sense of the word. These theists and their exaggerated sense of entitlement!

Deb57 Level 8 June 30, 2020
0

Great response!

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