I used to BE a “pleaser”, who would adjust my own wants and needs to suit whatever the woman I was with wanted, but after 4 or 5 years of being with her, I didn’t know who I was anymore and I just had to get away. During those times, I thought I was trying to be flexible and nice, but it all looks pitiful to me now. That stupid, spineless behavior cost me $265,564 in child support, plus lost investments and equities in homes… but now I know exactly who I am and I take very good care of me. If I can find a woman who is compatible with ME, I could REALLY love her for the rest of my life, unless she is just trying to be flexible and nice... then, she'll be gone in 5 years, but I got a vasectomy, so there will NOT be any more kids and I will keep the house per our written agreement when we first move together. I can NOT afford to loose everything again like I used to.
Here's what I think about now:
Can good friends REALLY be great lovers? What REALLY happens in the “friend zone”? If so many people only want primarily platonic relationships, why don’t they just partner with someone of their own sex? Why do religions tend to make sex a subservient duty? Is sex for pleasure truly wrong, or is it simply a life choice despised by religious philosophers? What sort of mind set is required for a couple to best approach experimental and exploratory lovemaking? IS there only one "right" way that lovemaking should ever be done?
You know, it seems like love is simply a state of wanting the same things with a little infatuation thrown in... if we don't want the same things, we simply ignore the infatuation.
Why do most couples get "so tired" of sex? How can a new couple start and maintain a fantastic sex life together? How do these interested people find each other and get together in the first place? Does only “together sex” build the "right" foundation or does "alone sex" provide valuable insights, skills, and useful toning?
Why do so many people hide their alone sex? Is it possible that sex is a lot like singing (specialized sets of muscles and tissues that must be trained and exercised regularly to achieve useful, confident, artistic mastery)?
Thinking outside the box, what is it that truly makes sex so great and enjoyable... is it just orgasms, or is it a really engaging, emotionally connected (and longer) journey in getting there, while delaying the actual "launch" for as long as possible? Think about it...
If this sort of thinking repels an otherwise attractive woman, that's probably a good thing for both of us.