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Q: Do you know how to differentiate between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: One of them tastes ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
As the nurse was coming off shift she notices a rectal thermometer in her pocket. "Damn", she says, "Some asshole has my pen!"
A Meme from before Memes.... I have done this - granted it was an unmarked door.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Once, shame on the door, twice or more, you surely are "gifted".
For the Originalists out there, the Second Amendment was about protecting slavery. Nothing else. ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
As much as I love my country it is imperative that we know its history, its sins as well as its accomplishments, for only in doing so can we achieve here what many of us have really meant by "The American Dream".
Ummm...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Yeah, drive up in that & you'll win the heart of any woman!!!
Oh good...... At least I don't have to worry about Lyme disease.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Also, is the doctor showing how big his penis is, or the patient's?
I'm with Jesus on this one.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
If only, as a matter of fact if anything like that was actually found in the bibble it might lend it some credence, as it is,...
Decisions, decisions....
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Let me know the next time your goin' fishin'!!!
Jesus feeding the 5000 today
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
& a little kid in the back yells, "I want Micky D's!"
Not the best shirt to wear in prison.. but this came from a granma shirt page.. this was her ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Just needs to add "to get" in the middle!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
I'd rather read & attempt to ignore the cats!
A Meme from before Memes.... I have done this - granted it was an unmarked door.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Isn't that "special"!
Do you have porn saved on your computer?
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
I have a few pictures of women I find particularly attractive, not necessarily unclothed, but no real porn. I just visit the websites when the mood strikes me, I don't really have many favorites, tho I do have preferred categories.
It's closed, guys. It's closed
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Sure don't want them changing while you're working in the private area! ("Didn't that used to be an "innie"??!!??")
A newlywed couple walk into a top hotel . The receptionist asks ' Do you have reservations ? ' The...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
A classic!
This one hurt for a minute..
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Definitely takes a minute to get that in "perspective".
GOP Congresswoman Claims Many Mass Shooters 'End Up Being Democrats' The Republicans get crazier by...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Let's make sure we arm the poll-watchers & have them be on the lookout for any Democrats!
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
A tootsie roll!
A giraffe walks into a bar and says, “High balls are on me!”
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
(wince)...as I don't look where I'm walking.
Only if you're out of vodka...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Even if not frozen it can be satisfying!
Just asking questions...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Good guy with a gun... https://www.facebook.com/roguekite/videos/1339028342799498/
New Job for the College Graduate A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Oldie, but a goodie, & oh so true! (Except for those of us that attended on GI Bill, we, of course, have been trained to handle everything!!!)
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Well, I can pee soup. Admittedly the broth is a bit salty & the taste leaves something to be desired, but, still...
New Politics - Tonight You're Perfect [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
I think I want my vehicle to break down in Iceland!
ee's muh birt'deh, beeches!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
& so I take no notice...Naw, seriously, Happy B-Day, bro!
This one hurt for a minute..
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
"The Thing", either version!
Joss Stone: Karma [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Love her voice, so happy she didn't go into country! That is a blues/rock voice!
My "theme song" 311 - You Wouldn't Believe [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Really like these guys musically.
Does this look familiar?
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
It's also how the right operates, & plans their election strategies.
Banners - I wanna be somebody [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
You are, Duke, you are!
When they are still serving breakfast at 11 am.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Wouldn't doubt that "McShit" is a new offering!
Venus Returns...g:8 [space.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
For all you astronomy buffs!
When they are still serving breakfast at 11 am.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
"IT!!"
The most important meal of the day...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Amen!
I'm giving up drinking....after tonight.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Won't last forever! Someday soon that friend will get a little older & then go "I never used to get hangovers" or "I used to be able to go all weekend"
Well, will be leaving for the Harris/Dillahunty talk soon, on the news was a report that Lawrence ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
It was still a good evening. Sam & Matt addressed the Krauss issue right away, as it was obviously the "elephant in the room". They seemed a bit uncomfortable at first, explaining how everyone got together in how to arrange this. Harris was obviously not enamored of the original BuzzFeed piece but stressed support for victims. They then segued to #MeToo & then ultra-Pc found on many college campuses. Things then went in a more expected direction on a number of subjects & I found it an engaging & interesting conversation. The usual Q&A followed, but unfortunately, I wasn't able to get to the mike before time was called to ask my "Free Will" query to both of them, as there has been, if not disagreement, but differences in their stances. Maybe another time, as I would surely attend again, hopefully without the distractions this one had. I will add one more thing, I've almost always enjoyed & been edified listening to either of these two speak, whether podcasts or YT videos, but tho Harris is very articulate & erudite, Dillahunty seems to have a much more "ready" sense of humor & seems to relate better to the crowd. No judgment here, just an observation.
Tasteless!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
& what have you got against our trans-candy bretheren???
Milestones
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Keep that up & she'll be asking for fries!
I bought a hair donut today. I like them because they make your buns fat!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
I find it's the creme donuts that make my buns fat!
Fascinating article on what the AR 15 does to the human body. Warning verbally graphic. ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
I was aware of some of that, but to hear it in detail from a trauma room doctor really hits home. There is no excuse, enough is enough!
Hi, I'm Daniele. I was dianosed by a professional in 2014 with schizoaffective disorder at 30 after ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
We (or at least the doctors) are still learning, both about the disorders themselves & what are the most effective ways to treat them. I'm glad you found a doctor you trust, that is so important, one that will actually listen to you & pay attention to how medications are affecting you. Best of luck, & welcome!
All my tornado friends eventually leave me. Except the one I thought was a vampire.... he was not.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
I really liked this! Thanks!
I just don't know...about these memes...either...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
Won't get into definitions here, but, there are still a few chuckles!
As the nuns approached the corner, they spotted a familiar shadow ahead.. no pun intended.. ;)
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
& Father, what I wan't to know, how did the nunnies know what that was???
Hairy palms.. just a guess.. all I can say is... eeewww
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
I tol y'all Bigfoot wer reel!
Well said.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 24, 2018:
You mean common sense?!? Too bad it's not all that common!
What is your favorite TV show theme song?
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Still like the variations on the "Law & Order"'s.
Grateful Dead, "China Cat Sunflower/I Know You Rider"... [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
This is why they were so great live!!!
13 Year Old Boy Buys Gun With No Problem Getting It... This is unbelievable! No wonder America is...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
No other way to say this,...UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!
You know, it's a shame we can't change that green header to say "you're a memer!"
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Memer, memer, memer
The worst place to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Especially if the people you ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Yeah, or you need the Heimlich!
The other day my wife asked me, "Why do you go out on the balcony, when I start singing?" I ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
CYA!
I'm done adulting for today.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
I won't grow up!
Sexy wink...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
On a date with Bill Cosby!
Do you know anyone on this list?
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Only 12!
Here's a favorite!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
& I wish his minions would keep their nose out of my business!
Parenthood is like...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Yep, broke & deranged!
She wants the (Mc)D...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Think it's actually custard!
Job Vacancy..
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
It was filled before the ambulance got you to the hospital!
Arthur Brown, "Fire"... [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Make-up well precedes Alice Cooper or Kiss! & the keyboardist, Vincent Crane, went on to form Atomic Rooster.
Dr. John, "I Walk on Gilded Splinters"... [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
This was such an eerie song when it came out. Hell, still kinda spooky!
Nuther lightbulb joke. Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Fish.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
No, no, a melting clock!
Prehistoric Producer What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? "Try ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
You wounded me with that one!
Mountain, "Never In My Life"... [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Great power trio, & boy, could Lelie West's chubby fingers play the guitar!
The white man told the Native Americans that the Iron Horse would bring good medicine and ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
& smallpox!!!
I was kicking my dog in the head the other day and then it turned around and bit me in the nuts. A ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Understandably!
[youtu.be] The One AM Radio
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Got "video unavailable" for this one.
I remember at school learning about pavlov, and I thought about how stupid his dog was. Then the ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
I went & checked your profile, & I was right...knew it was UK by the wording of your jokes!
Zappa, "Lonesome Cowboy Burt" from 200 Motels w/ Flo & Eddie! [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Kinda raunchy, but so is a lot of Mothers' stuff! Funny as hell, tho!
[youtu.be] The Bright Light Social Hour
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
good music to do yoga by, & I mean that in a good way!
Not to make light of the homeless but the costumes are just a hoot..
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Where's the beef (outfit)!
[youtu.be] The Constellations feat. Cee-Lo (love cee-lo)
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Like Kate Micucci, too, was waiting for her to break out her ukelele! (& I get a kick out of Garfunkel & Oates!) & I agree about Cee-Lo, thought Gnarls Barkley was great & "Crazy" is a classic IMHO!
[youtu.be] Pompeya (one of my favorite videos- The message is beautiful)
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Nice!
[youtu.be] Great Northern
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Very good band! Very good song!
I am Seriously Loving this Group!! This is the Best Group I have been a part of!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
We appreciate everything you've been sharing with us. Keep up the great work!
Really Eclectic "A Good Time Was Had By All" - Thad Jones and Mel Lewis. [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
tho I despise marching bands I still love me some big band sound!
Tom T-Bone Stankus "Existential Blues" [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
LOL! This guy is an enjoyable nut!
Zappa Plays Zappa "Watermelon In Eater Hay" [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
& I counter with... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXurfnnni8Q
Zappa, "Peaches En Regalia"... [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Sorry, a LOT of empty on this one.
Enterprise, Alamo and National car rentals are dropping the nra discount starting March 26. I am ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Well, I hope you're not holding your breath!
I cannot think of a less dignified end...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Well, could've been used for cat food!
Photoshop Funnies... [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
You have to admit, the guy is an artist!
Getting old...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Someone is worried about their 30's! Oh, are you in for some surprises! (says an old fart)
I was diagnosed schizoaffective in 2003. I experience esp and synchronicity from other people, and ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
The "delusions", true or not, would not make you evil, cruel or stupid, they would either make you gifted or someone who needs attention (medical/social/emotional). I, personally, doubt their validity, but I don't know you, I just tend to relate more to empirical facts & what we know of esp & the like. You may indeed be experiencing something, or picking up subliminal cues that may be somewhat exaggerated to you. Again, I can't say. I can say, if you suicided you would never find out for sure, so, please, leave that as the ultimate last resort. Please, if you don't have support, try to get some. It will help just to aid you in keeping afloat, if nothing else. Best of luck, & know you can always talk here.
You want eclectic? I got eclectic. [youtube.com]
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
I loved Nazz back in the day, hell, I still do!
Light bulb jokes How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb ? None. That's what ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Of course, they need to secure a grant first.
I laughed way too hard at this.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
You can tell it wasn't Starbucks, then you would get Markwithacee.
Clearly....
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
She ought to be glad she wasn't with her proctologist!
Love me some Betty Bowers...aka Deven Green.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Priceless! & so spot on!
Day drinking didn't make the list...again!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Sounds like many of us here!
Morning cock pic.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Cok-a-doodle-WHAT!
My body is a temple...of tacos!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Surely don't have to take your shoes off first in my temple!
Wise words from Oscar the Grouch.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Was trained by Yoda!
She's a keeper!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Eric, we need to talk about warning signs!
Has anyone read the book how to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie? I found it very ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
"How to Win Friends.." is actually a quite good book, also. It is much more than just what the title suggests.
I've recently started dating a woman who claims to be a palm tree nymph. I refer to her as my ...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
With my last girlfrond the relationship just withered on the vine!
Some peoples kids, man...
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
LMFAO!!!!
Problem solving at its finest.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Works for me!
Ladies the line forms to the left.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Can you believe this guy is single?
Science!
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
Love it, science nerd comedy!
I'd like to share my favorite superhero with you guys.
phxbillcee comments on Feb 23, 2018:
I'm so surprised he's from Florida!!!

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Humanist, Agnostic, Skeptic, Atheist, Secularist, Freethinker
Open to meeting women
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