Survivors of Sexual Trauma Reveal an Important truth.
This is an important issue to discuss. It is a vulnerable subject. All that I ask is that assumptions be withheld.
"If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that sometimes our assumptions and preconceived notions are wrong, and therefore, our interpretation of events is incorrect. This causes us to overreact, to take things personally, or to judge people unfairly". ~Elizabeth Thornton
I'm in an addiction recovery program and it's been eye opening how many men have been sexually assaulted and raped. Not saying the % is higher among addicts, just that due to the unique circumstances of us sharing personal stories, I've become aware of how pervasive sexual abuse and assault is among males.
Is it wrong that it makes me sad that these men receive nothing but support for telling their stories? I'm seriously considering celebrating that this August it will be 25 years since the last time I was raped (not the first time, but the last, mind you). I would have loved to have experienced this kind of acceptance when I told my story. Instead, I was blamed, so I stopped talking about it, except in therapy.
After two years, I left my first husband who sexually and emotionally abused me. I went into therapy to heal from the pain of being physically hurt by the man I loved. No one will ever hurt me that way again.
Tim, a medical doctor, pursued me for four years after our divorce.
"Why do you keep pursuing me?" I asked Tim. "You know I will never go back with you."
"Kathleen, to give up would force me to accept that I sexually abused my wife," Tim replied.
Two years after the divorce, Tim stopped by to wish me and my mother "Merry Christmas." When I hugged Tim goodbye, I felt hollow and shaky for days afterward.
"This is a normal feeling when you touch your abuser again," my counselor said.
I applaud these women for telling their stories. And feel amazed by the woman's strength, to actually hug and touch the men who raped them. To me, it appears they felt pressured to act forgiving in front of the camera.
The fact that the women shook hands and even hugged their rapist on camera DOES NOT make these rapists and child molesters okay.
Raping or sexually abusing a girl or women is cruel, violent and reprehensible. These men belong in jail.
For at least the last 25 years, I have not dated a lady who has not been either molested, sexually abused, or raped at least once in their life time. Including my ex-wife who was molested as a child and raped as an adult before we met. I witnessed first hand her pain, her PTSD and the problems she experienced in our relationship because of her previous experiences.