Survivors of Sexual Trauma Reveal an Important truth.
This is an important issue to discuss. It is a vulnerable subject. All that I ask is that assumptions be withheld.
"If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that sometimes our assumptions and preconceived notions are wrong, and therefore, our interpretation of events is incorrect. This causes us to overreact, to take things personally, or to judge people unfairly". ~Elizabeth Thornton
By
Stacey48
Stacey48
9
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13 comments
This is another example of the need to be kinder to one another. Especially from behind a keyboard. You just never know what people have experienced in their lives and how that affects their day to day behaviors or attitudes.
Bierbasstard
Level 8
July 2, 2018
3
Yes, exactly the point. Thank you. 
I'm in an addiction recovery program and it's been eye opening how many men have been sexually assaulted and raped. Not saying the % is higher among addicts, just that due to the unique circumstances of us sharing personal stories, I've become aware of how pervasive sexual abuse and assault is among males.
KissedbySun
Level 7
July 2, 2018
3
I believe Dylan Farrow.
Ellatynemouth
Level 8
July 2, 2018
1
I would like to believe him too.
Is it wrong that it makes me sad that these men receive nothing but support for telling their stories? I'm seriously considering celebrating that this August it will be 25 years since the last time I was raped (not the first time, but the last, mind you). I would have loved to have experienced this kind of acceptance when I told my story. Instead, I was blamed, so I stopped talking about it, except in therapy.
Nottheonlyone
Level 7
July 2, 2018
5
No, it is not wrong for you to feel that way. I agree, there needs to be more support for women, as well as the LBGTQ community. No one should feel shamed, or that they brought abuse onto themselves. That is the part that is wrong.
I don't think you're wrong. It's just that life isn't fair. I'll bet there's a world of hurt out there that gets no recognition. I hope you're OK and strong.
@brentan I am, thank you.
I thought the men were the abusers coming to say sorry, especially the 'rougher' looking men. Well done, that's a helpful video.
brentan
Level 8
July 2, 2018
4
Yes, I made the assumption that the women were telling their own stories. That's why I added the quote about assumptions.
Damn! Talk about a flipped script!...did NOT see that coming...
goldenvalleyguy
Level 8
July 2, 2018
2
I should have added a better warning.
good post It is overwhelmingly pervasive
btroje
Level 8
July 2, 2018
3
It is, and I think we forget that many who have that story, do not always openly talk about it. One persons trauma does not negate someone elses. They are all just as painful.
@Stacey48 and if discussed it is more often in private. The cost of trauma from sexual abuse is huge.And now that our country has been at war so many years you have to add the trauma of combat.all things generally felt better to keep under wraps. Boggles the mind to think of how all relations are ultimately affected by trauma
Yes, it affects a child's developing brain, and keeps a child in toxic stress. That fight, flight, freeze response becomes a permanent part of everyday life for a child, and carries into adulthood to impact relationships.
Edited
After two years, I left my first husband who sexually and emotionally abused me. I went into therapy to heal from the pain of being physically hurt by the man I loved. No one will ever hurt me that way again.
Tim, a medical doctor, pursued me for four years after our divorce.
"Why do you keep pursuing me?" I asked Tim. "You know I will never go back with you."
"Kathleen, to give up would force me to accept that I sexually abused my wife," Tim replied.
Two years after the divorce, Tim stopped by to wish me and my mother "Merry Christmas." When I hugged Tim goodbye, I felt hollow and shaky for days afterward.
"This is a normal feeling when you touch your abuser again," my counselor said.
I applaud these women for telling their stories. And feel amazed by the woman's strength, to actually hug and touch the men who raped them. To me, it appears they felt pressured to act forgiving in front of the camera.
The fact that the women shook hands and even hugged their rapist on camera DOES NOT make these rapists and child molesters okay.
Raping or sexually abusing a girl or women is cruel, violent and reprehensible. These men belong in jail.
LiterateHiker
Level 8
July 2, 2018
2
Please watch the video again. The women were not assaulted.
Edited
you need to watch the whole video
@Stacey48 and@btoje,
It appears the women are reading their own writing.
It's too painful for me to watch it again. It triggered old feelings.
Edited
@LiterateHiker I can empathize with that, I apologize for the pain it brought up for you. ❤
@Stacey48
Thank you.
They are reading the stories of the men who were abused, not the stories of their own abuse. Because sexual abuse is not gender related, but can happen to children or young people of any age.
@Barnie2years
I didn't realize that. Listening to what the women read was triggering for me. After the woman hugged the man, I stopped the video.
I wish they had made it more clear at the beginning.
@LiterateHiker I think it was making a point about our assumptions.
The men were abuse survivors. Not offenders.
For at least the last 25 years, I have not dated a lady who has not been either molested, sexually abused, or raped at least once in their life time. Including my ex-wife who was molested as a child and raped as an adult before we met. I witnessed first hand her pain, her PTSD and the problems she experienced in our relationship because of her previous experiences.
t1nick
Level 7
July 2, 2018
3
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