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Who has heard of the ex over two rule?

Basically the rule is that if x is the amount of time you have been in a relationship, then x/2 is the amount of time before you are ready to start a new relationship. Over the years I have observed this rule to be quite good, and that if people get into their next relationship too soon it very often doesn't work.

By DoctorJohn5
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I can agree that getting into the next relationship before you are ready emotionally is not a good thing.
Ultimately how one moves on will be individual. There’s a lot of different factors such as how the previous relationship ended, age of the person, whether there are children involved and the reason for the split( divorce, death of a spouse)
I had no intention of waiting very long after my divorce to get back into dating.


Yes I have but it's months not years that you wait. So for every year it's 2 months. When relationships end whether through a breakup or death of a significant other, people need time to heal and get their feet under them. Sometimes people rush into another relationship because they are lonely. You have to figure out who you are by yourself before you can be a good partner for someone else. No one completes you/us - we have to be complete people on our own. But in the end, people will do what they want. Just my opinion


That makes absolutely no sense.

Sticks48 Level 9 Nov 9, 2018

I am a year out of an 18 year relationship, including 17 years of marriage. I'm not going to live long enough to wait 35 years before getting involved again. Although I would prefer never over a repeat of the last mistake.

Deb57 Level 7 Nov 9, 2018

Same here. Was in a 22 year relationship with my late wife and I doubt I will live much more than 15 more years, so I'm trying to date now, two years after her death. I've already been grieving her loss for 5 years already since she lost her personality and her mind by 2013 to dementia. On the other hand, my father is 90 and if I had a partner and decent health it would be fine to live that old, but I don't think that's realistic.


If that's the case, I'll be dead before I can be in another relationship.


Emotional "rules" + humans = high unpredictability and inconsistency.


To try and establish a set of rules for emotions would be at the very least a monumental if not an impossible task. There are just too many variables involved, personality differences; character traits; personal preferences; childhood experiences; traumas (medical, psychological, and emotional); and mental health. You could work at it for a lifetime and not be able to come up with a set of rules that would accommodate the majority of the population. Human emotions are just too complicated. smile001.gif

Betty Level 7 Nov 8, 2018

My therapist said the usual time for the intense part of the grieving process is 12-18 months. And the loss of a relationship is, in many ways, like the death of someone you love.

I can't speak personally for the veracity of this, but as I am nearing the one-year mark myself, it seems possible.



You're ready when you're ready. Only you can say.

Deveno Level 7 Nov 8, 2018

I'm not sure if i need 9 years.. But another 9 months would be helpful.


Holy shit....based on those calculations, I will be dead before I am ready to date again?🥴🥴🥴🥴


So the general rule is I won't be ready for a relationship until 2025?


I just believe love and chemistry happens when it happens.. math is meaningless in the affairs of the heart..

hippydog Level 7 Nov 8, 2018

We are all individuals. There are no rules

powder Level 8 Nov 8, 2018

fifty five years, not a hope in help for me.

1ROBROY2 Level 6 Nov 8, 2018

Then I think you should stick to it!

Byrdsfan Level 8 Nov 8, 2018

You're a little confused here... That's the rule for robots...


I heard it's 1 month equals 2 years.


My husband died 15 years into our relationship. Am I supposed to wait 7 1/2 years??

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