Are atheists less likely to fall in love?
Love has been described as "unconditional positive regard". Not very romantic I grant you but accurate to a degree.
Theists open themselves up to "gods love" without question. It is a matter of faith. We are sceptical, questioning and more logical. Does that mean that we carry the same mindset to relationships or is there more room? A void to fill, a desire to believe in someone instead of something?
We're not fucking automatrons! I believe unconditional romantic love is very, very rare. Christians as far as I can tell don't really love God as much as they fear his wrath. That ain't love. Take the threat of eternal damnation out of their beliefs and see how many of them drag their asses out of bed on Sunday morning and go to church.
"Theists open themselves up to "gods love" without question."
Except that isn't love, its a self-imposed endorphin-fueled delusion.
Being open to imaginary love from a figment of your imagination sounds more like the behavior of someone who is deeply insular, who would have trouble forming connections with real people. Which I think is related to the high statistic of theist divorces.
Interesting, There should be no difference in romantic love. Love is an universal emotion. Atheists are diverse people. I think being over rational in anyone can prevent openess to romantic love. Please see below for theories of love. There are also types of love for children and others. Agape would be the closets to human love of other humans. "Unconditional Positive Regard" is a term used in the therapy style, it is valuing someone for who the are regardless of their actions. It is more caring for other humans, not love. Sorry, a darn psychologist can ruin anything with too much explaining. I think people will find the links below interesting. One is about atheists and love. The other explains models of types of romantic love and changes over time.
Declaring love to a falsehood with no basis in reality is not somthing I see as supporting a heightened abilty to love. Atheists feel and love more deeply in my opinion because this is the life we get and we know it, no second chances, no illusions of an afterlife. Love now, eternity is not a viable option
Love is human. No god needed. And real love is not a romantic notion. Being in love may make you romantic on certain things. People need to stop equating love with childishness. It's a real thing that takes work once you decide you want to keep it. Getting rid of religion opens up all your true emotions. No more waiting for god. No more hating certain people. Real light lets you love more than you ever could when you believed sky daddy would take care of things and protect you from imaginary dangers.
Its easy to admit that "athiest's" are unloving. But the truth is you're not an atheist at the end of the day, you're human and as a human whether you like it or not, you have a vulnerability for love, attention and affection. Even though there are labels to define what we believe in, the idea should never be greater than our humanity and our ability to show empathy for ourselves, for others and for others to be empathetic and loving towards us. Theists put an incredible amount of energy to sustaining the idea of "gods" love rather than keeping it for themselves. Conversely, theists create a continuous void within themselves which is probably why they are so fervent and desperate in seeking love and attention from a fictitious god rather than loving themselves. For what its worth, place your humanity above these ideas that create voids in your life and pull you away from your humanity and put the energy into ideas that fulfill your heart.
I fall in love, correction I jump head first into love. It's one of the greatest feelings I can have. It gives me a reason to devote myself to someone else's happiness ( which if it's appreciated , makes me happy in turn) . Being atheist does not change this.
I'm a UU'er and an atheist. My minister (who is pretty damned cool) asked me what my 'higher power' is. My response was (and is): "Love. Love is my 'Higher Power'. There's not enough of it going around that is real and sincere. I feel that if everyone everywhere had REAL connected and great love in their life, we'd all be a little more of a peaceful bunch of hairless apes (no offense intended towards the very hairy apes reading this!).
Love is the vaccine for what ails me. Hook me up with that shit!
Well, i think most atheists are more measured in their decision making. I feel like the answer depends on the person ( yes, a very skeptical approach, i know), but perhaps we are more likely?
We are less likely hate outsiders, more likely accept them. We are less likely completely write someone off. We are also getting married later in life, but perhaps dating more before hand... does that count as loving many more people?
I think, perhaps i've delved too deep... me thinks the question is incomplete or flawed. Why can't my brain just let things be simple?
If love is really "unconditional positive regard" then I've never loved and never will. Conditions are placed by me on all my interactions with everything/everyone my world. Just as I am incapable of positively regarding unconditionally, I lack the ability to understand or believe that there is any person place or thing that regards me in the same way (e.g. god). Even my own mother was probably only strongly biased towards that condition but if conditions were different (to circumvent the unconditional part of the positive regard) that bias would have been overcome.
Atheists, for the most, in my experiences 'fall in love' just like everyone else does.
After all, we are simply just Hominid Primates driven by emotions that are triggered by hormones and the internal reactions caused by those self-same hormones.
But, Atheists being rational, logical people, for the majority part, much prefer to 'fall in love' with something/person that is tangible, visible and verifiable, i.e. an ACTUAL human being, etc, than something that exists ONLY in the mind and requires unquestioning FAITH such as a God/Deity, etc.
I think so. I know for me I tend to be very skeptical about new people. You can't just say anything to me and I'm gonna fall for it. As an observer I see people fall for bs right in front of there face and those are usually the people who belong to a religious organization.
I have been an atheist basically my whole life. I have had long term and short term relationships. I maybe a bad example though as I'm not sure exactly what "love" pertains to. I mean I cared for the people I was dating and felt bad when things didn't go their way. I would say I was mostly infatuated with them though rather than being in love. I have never wanted kids and maybe that has something to do with me not truly "falling in love". I said the words "I love you" to a few of them and I feel as if I meant it at the time. Who knows, I'm not exactly sure if I answered your question or not lol. It seems more like I'm just rambling on, I guess I would say yes, it's harder for atheists to fall in love.
My POV is we don't really get a choice and depending on the person ymmv as some truly don't seem able to love, in any kind of discernible way. This isn't belief or lack thereof specific.
I don't think love is a decision or I would have decided many moons ago to fall for a rich guy back in the day.
Some persons are more guarded than others. I might imagine that religion can be used to gloss over feelings like that. And "love" is a very overused term which has become virtually meaningless. Unconditional love is just understanding how useless a term love is, and attempting to up the ante. But really, love is all about behavior and interactions and it's unique to everyone. How people express deep feelings for another person can greatly vary.