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Reminder:

A difference of opinion is not an attack.

We can only have meaningful discussion if we maintain the ability to disagree politely.

Take from this what you will.

By Xuande7
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40 comments

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8

i hate you

coralisthree Level 8 Mar 2, 2019

yeah but you like my dance moves

@Xuande i LOVE your dance moves

6

I disagree!

EricTrommater Level 9 Mar 2, 2019
4

Depends on the topic: if your opinion supports people who hurt others I’m unlikely to worry too much about being polite.

If your opinion stands against settled science I am likewise going to worry not too much about my tone.

Though this article posted here recently was interesting and to the point

[theconversation.com]?

OwlInASack Level 7 Mar 3, 2019
4

It's an attack when somebody bashes you over the head every time you say something he doesn't like.

Closeted Level 8 Mar 2, 2019

This seems like a specific example but I'm not familiar with it.

@Xuande I'm kind of letting off steam, a friend of mine goes off on me every time I talk about certain topics.

@Closeted I'm sorry to hear that.

Here I was racking my brain. "Oh mam what did I say to Closeted?" Lol,

@Xuande that only happened to me once on this site. I considered blocking that guy. He doesn't post often though.

3

Not always--if someone has a very unkind opinion of you, your racial group, your gender or profession, that is an attack.

Carin Level 8 Mar 2, 2019

Absolutely. Intolerance can't be tolerated. However, even on sensitive subjects where we put emotions behind our opinions we have to be able to have polite discourse.

This is mostly me venting, full disclosure. It feels like every time I try and engage in an argument the thread goes missing. It's frustrating.

3

I disagree!
Don't be an Internet Troll God Damn it!

Novelty Level 8 Mar 2, 2019

Yeah? Well, I bet your mom went to college.

@Xuande Oh Yea! I'll have you know I come from the shallow end of the gene pool! I think so far I'm the only member of my family to take any collage at all... wait, there was that weird uncle that wrote a book then paid three thousand dollars to publish it and it didn't sell a single copy. He gave me one, I threw it away.

@Mortal OH YEAH?! Well I bet you're a nice person and you have lots of supportive family and friends who care about you, even if you don't realize it. And I bought your uncle's book, it changed my life.

@Xuande LIAR!

@Mortal You're right, it didn't change my life. But he had some interesting asparagus recipes.

2

and have a fucking sense of humor. Just saying.

Quarm Level 5 Mar 3, 2019
2

I think that it can be vigorously, but with respect for the other person...throwing ‘dirt’ is not my idea of respect!

Freedompath Level 8 Mar 3, 2019
2

That's why I'm not afraid to use the block option. Lol

motrubl4u Level 7 Mar 2, 2019
2

Agreed.

freeofgod Level 7 Mar 2, 2019
1

This reminds me the pyramid of argument.
The 2 highest levels bring the discussion forward, The second level corrodes the power of an argument until you have enough "argument power" to go to the highest level.
Not always the second level will bring to the first, sometimes it ill just change the conclusions accepting part of the arguments, combining with new ones that will go to a different conclusion, those are the nicest discussions in my opinion and are in the politely disagreement that can come to a nice synthesis, bringing a new agreement out of the disagreement.

The third level create parallel discussions, because it does not talk with the first argument. It is useful on political debate to change the subject, but on an structured argument, it only expands and create confusion. Should be used only after the first level is achieved.

The fourth level just puts smoke on the discussion and does not create even an alternative route, it is pure distraction.

The lower levels don't even need comments XD

Pedrohbds Level 7 Mar 5, 2019
1

A discussion isn't really a discussion if we agree on everything. It's why we have discussions.

Agamic Level 6 Mar 4, 2019
1

Yes, the passion of debate can certainly bring out anger in people. My pet peeve is when people get into petty name calling (the most recent was when someone called someone a "dumbass" ). I think it's just rude and immature. I love using this platform to share opinions, facts, etc.

Lovemylife1 Level 6 Mar 3, 2019

I agree with you but many people are a dumbass. I see this somewhat in politics and the Trumpworld minions. It goes without question on anything religious that a theist might come up with.

1

I learned fairly quickly that some people on here don't abide by this simple etiquette. Shame.

1

I agree. While I often attack ideas, the person behind the ideas does (I assume) believe what they are touting.

Grayghost Level 5 Mar 3, 2019

Probably an unfounded assumption:

@greyeyed123 unfuckingbelievable.......I am going to show this to my son's and ask them to explain their opinions to me. Thank you for posting!!!!

1

Absolutely

DavidGreen1 Level 5 Mar 3, 2019
1

You are a very wise young man.

Amisja Level 8 Mar 3, 2019

It's really is amazing sometimes, the power of words. You've made my morning.

You're not so bad yourself.

@Xuande awwww thank you

1

I'll have a discussion but not an argument.
I try to go by this, sometimes I lose it and that's on me. I think I'm getting a little better at controlling it, I hope anyway

MacTavish Level 7 Mar 3, 2019
1

So long as your opinion does mean the destruction or dehumanization of other human beings rights, it's fine with me.

Chilton704 Level 5 Mar 3, 2019
1

I agree but it is human nature to respond when someone writes abusive comments direct at you.

Moravian Level 7 Mar 3, 2019

It's human nature to respond, period. It's a matter of interpretation as to whether the remarks were meant directly towards you.

@DenoPenno Maybe, but sometimes it can be quite apparent that thye are

1

If you're using insults, it means you're running out of arguments and you should have a second look at your ideas.

1

I love finishing meaningful discussions....... smile001.gif

Renickulous Level 7 Mar 2, 2019

Once I had to step away I totally lost interest in getting back into that one. I'd have to sit down for a while to formulate a response and blagh.

Given our respective political beliefs (or at least, what I've seen thus far), the two of us have plenty of respectful discourse in our future. See you then.

1

That's just, like, your opinion, man.

"The Duderino's" quotes aside, I've been thinking about this lately. What if "meaningful discussion" isn't the goal? What if polite disagreement isn't the goal? What if you've decided you are right, and therefore can lie, cheat, and steal in service of your righteousness because the ends justify the means? And what if those on the other side (who are obviously wrong) deserve whatever sneaky, underhanded knife you slip in their back because, you know, they aren't you and thus aren't right? What if intellectual honesty is not valued? What if honor is for suckers, humility is for losers, lies are true, and morality is just a bat you use to smash over your neighbor's head because it feels so good?

On the other hand, disagreeable disagreement may be healthy in small doses. Maybe we just need to vent at each other once in a while, with no meaningful discussion. Then as we get old and the young people get sick of our arguing, they will have meaningful discussions as we slowly die off.

greyeyed123 Level 6 Mar 2, 2019
1

Heartily agree!

A2Jennifer Level 7 Mar 2, 2019
0

Some attacks are wrongly characterized as "mere differences of opinion." There's this assumption, in Internet discourse, how unless you refer to a specific individual when making extremely negative statements it's not an attack. But there are many attacks which are so negatively focused on one group, and often involving spreading purposely dubious information about that group, that they are personal... highly personal. Those are not worthy of polite discussion. It's a form of trolling and only deserve to be treated as such.

PalacinkyPDX Level 8 Mar 8, 2019
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