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Today would have been our 44th Wedding Anniversary if Lisa hadn't lost her battle with cancer. On the day we were Married up on Long Island, all the weathermen were saying that the temperatures would be in the very low 30's F (around 0 C) with drizzle and snow showers on and off all day. They were wrong. The temperatures were in the mid-70's and the sun was shining all day.

After the ceremony and reception that was held at Lisa's Grandmother's house, we were given a ride to the Howard Johnson's Motor Lodge in Westbury. After having dinner in the Howard Johnson's Restaurant (when they found out that we just got married, they gave us each a glass of Sangria), we retired to our room for the night (you'll have to use your imagination to figure out what we did that night, all night). We didn't know it at the time, but there was a 50's Revival concert at the Westbury Music Fair, one of the first theaters in the round. Two doors down from us was BB King (he was sitting there, door open and with Lucille next to him) Other people in the hotel were the Dixie Cups, the Chirells and several others that I can't remember.

Today, I'm sitting in my room, alone and remembering the things that Lisa and I have done, the conversations that we've had, places we've gone to and the promises that I made to her before she passed away. I still have a hard time saying that she died. I'll tell people that she lost her battle with cancer, or that she passed away, or something along those lines. I miss her so much.

By AncientNight8
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14 comments

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1

I used to have this dream of being with one woman my whole life but while I'm never going to know what that's like to have the love of a lifetime, I'm also never going to experience the grief and loss of a lifetime. I can only guess at how hard that is to experience. I am sorry for your loss.

On the plus side, you had over four decades together; my personal best is 15 years and those were not good years.

It sounds like you have a treasure-trove of good memories. Cling to the smiles they give you. Let the sadness and loss pass gently through you. Let the your new reality settle in, don't fight it ... you will likely find it getting better past the two year mark, although it's different for each of us. May you find peace and contentment.

mordant Level 8 Mar 16, 2019

Thank you!

Most of my memories are good ones. At least I have that much.

1

I'm so sorry. It's been 2 years since my soulmate died, and this grief is the hardest work I've ever done. But after the 1st year anniversary I felt that he wanted me be happy again. The gratitude for having had him in my life has grown larger than the pain of losing him, though the pain will never be completely gone. I hope you feel joy again.

Marieclaire31 Level 4 Mar 16, 2019

Thank you!

Lisa has been gone for, almost, two years now and there are still times when something reminds me of her. If it's a song on the radio while I'm driving, sometimes I have to pull off the road because I can't see through the tears. I've heard it said that it gets better, but it never goes away.

1

You are welcome my friend.

Roley Level 5 Mar 16, 2019
1

John, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with us your cherished memories.

Rustee Level 7 Mar 16, 2019

Thank You!

2

I feel your pain, yet envy you.
My longest relationship was only 5 yrs......

KevinAverett Level 7 Mar 16, 2019

Thank You!

Give yourself some credit! You're not an Evil Son of a Bitch. Are you?

@AncientNight
I must be.

@KevinAverett No! You're not. At least, from things that you've said on Agnostic.com leads me to believe that you're not.

1

Oh man. Thanks for sharing. Kim and I started in NY and for 30 years she was my baby. I can feel it in your words, truly I can. Sounds like you and Lisa had some magic together and that is great...just great.

Ron_R Level 7 Mar 16, 2019

Thank you!

We had our detractors that said we wouldn't even last 6 months.

1

I am sorry for your loss. I have also had the passing of a loved one in this manner but no one knows exactly how you feel and no one can take away your memories.

DenoPenno Level 8 Mar 15, 2019

Thank you!

I'm sorry for your loss as well.

1

So sorry.

Benthoven Level 8 Mar 15, 2019

Thank you!

1

Sending you hugs. When we lose a great love we feel so empty and lost. My heart goes out to you in your sorrow. Hold onto your memories, I've found that to help me.

Thank you!

(((HUGS))) back to you. I know that you've been to the brink of Hell as well

4

What you wrote about your wedding was beautiful. I’m so sorry ...it’ is so very hard isn it? I’m glad we have each other here that understand totally how you are feeling. I did not realize it till it happened to me. I wish I had the right words to comfort you but I don’t think there are words. Just know we feel your pain along with you and are here for you.

Gypsy494 Level 6 Mar 15, 2019

Thank you!

There are no words that can be said. We just have to be there to listen when someone has to rant, scream, yell or just vent.

2

I'm so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking. smile003.gif

mzbehavin Level 7 Mar 15, 2019

Thank you!

3

It is so hard missing our love. I had no idea how hard until my love died. 💕

Holiday Level 7 Mar 15, 2019

Thank you!

The body might die,but Love never dies.

2

<3

PalacinkyPDX Level 8 Mar 15, 2019

Thank you!

2

My thoughts are with you my friend. Am here for you.

Roley Level 5 Mar 15, 2019

Thank you!

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