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7

Religion has a very unhealthy obsession with sex - warping the wonderful into the sinful, and joy into guilt.

7

Religion can severely affect your sexual life, myths and taboos like not self pleasure, virginity, no sex before marriage, no same sex relationships all that affect me and I'm just still learning that is all natural and beautiful.

6

Not so much intimacy, for me, as much as allowing myself to be true to my own desires.

It's also that TBH, my parents oppressed my feelings that I had that weren't hetero so I had to struggle with that part of myself for a long time. Nice to hear that I am not alone on this.

For me it was not beimg ashamed about my desires! Little things like admiting that I like "girl parts", okay, okay, BOOBIES! I could have never admitted that. That I was sexually attracted to the opposite sex. It would have been worse if I admitted that I could be attracted to the same sex. Now I can simply admit openly without shame, who I am.

6

I was brought up to believe sex was dirty and repulsive and sinful and all kinds of bad. My mother treated it as an odious task a wife must endure for her husband’s sake.

It took me decades to relax into sex. Decades. Finally in my 40s, I began to experience what sex was meant to be. That of course improved intimacy all around and led to me experience incredibly deep love.

I’ve made sure my son has seen lots of affection and closeness between me and my SO. I want him to know affection (and nudity and sex) are completely normal.

Thank you for being the parent I needed.

Personal growth like this does really happen on different subjects also; I see my parents as messengers of the " norm"
that was 1960-1970; they did the best they could- were human.

6

I don't think being raised as a christian affected my ability to be intimate. Being raised by a violent alcoholic had a much greater impact but as girlwithsmiles said, "life goes on and we put things into perspective and heal" I've wondered sometimes whether our main task as adults is just to learn to overcome the limitations which were inflicted upon us as children

5

It would stand to reason that it would inhibit anybody sexually. The dried up old Bronze age priests who wrote that crap were fixated on their naughty bits.

Deb57 Level 8 Feb 11, 2020
4

I’m beginning to find that my upbringing was not the norm for a lot of people.
I was never made to go to church, neither of my parents talked about or even read the Bible. My mother always told me to get as much information about any religion and come to my own conclusion. My mother is agnostic and my dad only read the Bible when he was on his deathbed, out of fear I suppose.
I don’t think there was ever a time in my life that I ever believed in a god, and to be honest religious people of any faith have made me uncomfortable from a very early age.

4

I suggest professional mental health assistance with that.
It could only help.

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it 😁👍

,,,yeah- to just say there is a problem... I research and find
reasources constantly.

4

I know what you're saying, but I'd put it a little differently.
Brought up Catholic, my rational opinions clash daily with my indoctrination. It makes it hard to be honest and intimate with myself.
If I have these constant internal clashes, how can I present myself as an integrated human being to another person?
It's not that I, as an Agnosticist, question my own opinions; it's rather my opinions clash internally with my conditioning from birth to approximately, oh, age 10 or so.
So a distrust of other's opinions is a constant, nagging reality. This makes true intimacy difficult.
To contradict myself (common),
I've found I'm never sure whether I really believe what I'm saying is really what I think, or is just what is convenient to say at that particular moment.
Some may think, 'He's not being honest with me.'
That's why I always use 'weasal words' to make clear I truly don't KNOW what I think!
I think this is why my religious 'brainwashing' will always interfere with intimacy with
myself
another person
people in general.

@Yogamom18 Thank you.
But having said it, I wonder if I really meant it!
Regardless, since you had a favorable opinion, I:be decided to 'follow' you on here, to see what else impresses you.
Is that 'okay?'

4

Yes, one of the reasons I have nothing to do with religion anymore. Having the decision of when first ‘intimacy’ occurs taken out of your hands quickly makes you realise that any remnants of belief are pretty twisted and if there’s an all knowing god as purported by certain religions they must be a total git!
Unfortunately being raped has a similar effect on intimacy, but life goes on and we put things into perspective and heal...hopefully.
(Um well you did ask! 😉).

3

i have no left over indoctrination. mine comes from trust issues. not religion. i find it helps to warn a future mate. so we can work through it together. hope that helps

3

I was raised in a heavily oppressive family situation. My mother was the church organist, but my father was not religious. Even decades later, I have never felt I was the owner of my life or my body. So, yes, intimacy has always been a big challenge.

3

Yup. "God" was always watching you. Tracking your sins. It was wrong to respond to natural urges when you reached puberty, etc....I almost thought it was illegal to like girls (any wonder there are so many choirboy pedophiles in the Catholic church?)

Alyn Level 3 Feb 11, 2020

Same! I just felt so disgusted with myself even when I would just look at girls. Thankfully, I am learning to be myself now.

3

Maybe I understand this and maybe not. I'm not afraid of intimacy but I am not likely to share all my inner feelings on that subject with people I am intimate with. For one thing, intimacy is different than sex to me, but it may include sex - or it may not. I cannot look at sex as "making love." Sex is simply sex. While having sex you might be "making love" but it does not mean that I am. My mind has sex with the pinup model or the woman in Playboy that I can never have or hold. I'm not "making love" to them so I have a strange detachment of sex and love. They may go together, but for me they do not. I'm not sure if religion has made me this way but it is how I am. These beliefs might explain why my ex and I only lasted 12 years. They might also (if understood) explain to the haters why I do not "hate" her.

I concur; self knowledge is something we seek - not given
to us on everthing we experienced.

3

Yes I used to feel guilty about masterbation when I was younger because of my religious up bringing

2

After going to Catholic schools and being raised Catholic, my atheist ex-husband was repressed sexually. He thought oral sex was "dirty."

2

I was indoctrinated as a child. Sex was bad and only for making more baby Christians. Missionary position was the only sex that was not perverted. This very subject was why I made this Reverand Faithful video on my YouTube channel. Watch the whole thing to see the punchline!

2

There is probably something in it, but it is not only Christianity but a lot of old cultural norms and traditions.

2

I feel the same way. It's hard being intimate with someone.

1

Big time.
Don’t ever make physical contact with me before we negotiate what such contact means, and I’ve completely agreed with it.
Otherwise I’ll overreact.
It’s hard to be spontaneous when you come from a social structure where everyone lies about themselves to themselves every minute of every day.

1

I have to go with some of those here who have said it is not so much intimacy as authenticity that is scary for me. I have gradually overcome it over the years. Of course being inauthentic is a wet blanket on real and sustainable intimacy, so there's that, I guess.

1

don't try dieting. it's bad habits that got you there so work on the habits instead of the weight.

1

How close were you to religion? Wasn't it your parent figures who scared you? Just wondering.

Wasn't my parent figures as much as it was the Catholic Institutions I was schooled at. My parents had a policy that - if you were punished in school for any reason, you were punished at home as well. My Mother's morals pretty much toed the line with the Catholic teachings. But she didn't preach to me (us, all of us kids) - like the Church did.

@Santanaman9 yep¤cultural & social pressures ; not just
family.

@Santanaman9 my mother's policy was exactly the same about the punishment at school and home. ...and we weren't catholic😊

1

Sorry, not me.

0

It tried with me didn't work

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